Crazy Visit
by XxBloodyRosaryxX
Summary: L,our favorite detective, comes to visit his 5 reckless teens. When he has to give them jobs for their reckless-ness how will they take the news.  and what does Ronald Mcdonald have to do with this?
1. Chapter 1

It just came to me!

Some things you should know:

Matt is 14, Mello is 19, Near is 12, BB is 11, and L is 27.

(not their real ages, and if you don't know who BB is..he's a murderer.)

Cussing

Random-ness

Matt Mello in trouble..OH NOES

And…yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

…

(L's p.o.v)

I think that Matt and Mello should get jobs.

I thought as I pulled $25 and placed it in Matt's hand.

"That is all the money you can have, do you understand me." I said.

He nodded and ran into the arcade.

I sighed.

Watari and Roger claimed I wasn't spending enough with my 'boys'.

So I took them to the mall.

Mello's idea.

Near tugged on my sleeve and pointed to a toy store.

I pulled out $75 and put it in his hand.

"that's all." I said.

I stared down at the chain I had connected to a harness in which was put on BB.

"HEY, CAN I HAVE MONEY!" Mello screamed as he ran up to me.

A 19 year old, I know, crazy.

I gave him a look and he looked down.

"please." He mumbled.

I nodded and gave him $45.

I only gave them different amounts 'cuz I know Near won't spend it all and I know Mello will take to long and not have time to spend it all.

I felt the chain pull and I followed BB where-ever he took me.

Of course he led me to a store where they had strawberry jelly.

(AN: he also has an obsession with jelly and knifes, heads , and he was born with the shinigami eyes,and is like a spitting image of L only my obsession.)

"BB, do you want some?" I asked the little shinigami eyed boy.

He nodded and I bought him 5 jars.

He smiled and opened them.

"One at a time, BB." I said.

He closed all but one….

The little freak.

Then he started to pull again, this time in the direction of the cooking utensils and pointed to a knife.

OH MY WATARI!

That is one big ass knife.

I shook my head.

"BB, no, do you know what Watari and Roger would do to me?" I said as I flailed my arms around.

He shrugged.

He started walking towards 'Hot Topic' and he was looking at the fake blood and I saw him smile.

I sighed.

Then he started towards the the the stairs that move.

(AN: sooo embarrassing idk what they're called, can someone tell me."

Only thing was that they were going up and we were going down.

Then the little shinigami kid tried to walk down them.

"BB, they're going the opposite way." I said trying to walk away.

He pulled back.

"I know what way they're going." He said and tried again.

But then he pulled one more time and I was caught off guard and we tumbled half-way the stairs.

I jumped up and picked him up and examined him.

"Awwwww man." I said as I saw a huge gash on his arm.

I tried to clean the blood away and I saw him smile.

Then he laughed really loud.

I looked down and saw that it was the fake blood.

"You stole it, didn't you." I asked.

He nodded.

Boy was I pissed.

I walked down the moving stairs.

I walked past a candy store and saw Mello at the cash-register.

"Mello, were leaving," he hurried out of there.

I walked into the toy-store and found Near by the legos and I picked him up.

He kicked a little until I set him down.

I picked up the pace a little and I couldn't find Matt in the arcade.

"Try 'Game Stop'." BB mumbled.

"You, quiet, I'm not in the mood, if you say one more word, you will never see sun light again."

He crossed his arms and pouted.

I walked to Game Stop and found Matt.

I grabbed his arm and walked out of the mall.

We got to the car and everybody got in.

I had to put BB in a 'special' way.

I put him in the back-seat and un-hooked the chain the chain from my belt-loop and chained it up to a little metal hook on the roof of it.

(AN:they don't really treat BB like this)

"Why so mad at us ,L" Matt asked.

"I will not tell you until I calm down. IF I calm down."

"Is it a secret, I love secrets." Matt asked again.

I glared a him.

Now time for a punishment.

I think they all need one.

I smiled an evil.


	2. chapter 2

(L's p.o.v)

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

What to choose from, cleaning the entire orphanage for the rest of their lives.

Nope.

Cleaning Mello's room.

I wouldn't do that to them.

Playing with Near.

No, Near would like that.

Babysitting.

Naw, they would kill the kid.

Well, BB would.

GOD HOW COULD YOU PUNISH TWO CHILDREN AND TEENS!

I looked to my left and saw 'NOW HIRING' on a Mcdonald window.

I pulled into the parking lot.

THEY COULD GET JOBS!

I walked into the fast-food place with Matt.

"Excuse me, are you guys hiring."

"Yes we are." The lady said.

"Well, this boy right here wants a job."

"Oh really, well then you could be Ronald, our red-headed clown. He passed away from a kid punching him in the head, it knocked his brains loose, or something."

Matt gulped.

"oh and he wears stripes, so did Ronald, and his hair, he's perfect."

I smiled and he got his uniform, handed it to him and said: "you start tomorrow at 12:30."

Then I patted his head and left him to stutter.

Now for the rest of them.

I kept driving and I saw a hiring sigh for a tattoo artist, Mello.

I pulled over and heard from the back: " Ronald McFuckin Donald."

I laughed.

The little fucker.

"Mello, come on, your gonna be a tattoo artist."

"Dammit, L, why can't you make me clean Rogers room."

"Because, Mello, that's torture."

"Are you hiring?" L asked the lady.

"Yes we are, he got the job."

"Cool, that was fast."

"Yea, he starts tonight, 7:00"

I laughed.

He growled and bit my arm.

I smacked him upside the head.

"He'll be here." I said.

He grunted and he walked out.

I smiled.

Near and BB are too young.

So I think they can work for me.

Or help Watari help me.

Sure that'll work.

When we got home they went to their rooms.

Well, everybody but BB.

"Do you know how bad it is to steal?" I said.

"YOU STOLE!" Roger screamed.

All the orphans in the room ran out so fast, they were a blur.

"BB! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" Watari screamed.

He looked down and smiled.

I grabbed his chin and made him look me in the eyes.

Then he spit in my eyes and tried to run away but the chain was in my hand, and I pulled him back and he landed hard on his ass.

He jumped up and grabbed himself.

He glared at me and I gave him that look that told him, "if you try anything else it will be the last thing you do."

"I FUCKIN' HATE YOU! YOU MADE MELLO AND MATT GET JOBS! YOU TOOK THEM HOME EARLY 'CUZ OF SOMETHING I DID AND YOU MADE THEM GET MAD AT ME!" He screamed.

I popped his mouth and walked him up to his room.

When we got in there he was like, "Learn to sleep with one eye open faggot."

The little fuck-nut.


	3. Chapter 3

(L's p.o.v)

I sighed and walked down stairs.

Watari and Roger were talking about how to punish BB but I told them my plan.

They smiled through out the whole thing.

"L, you are evil, I love it!" Roger said.

"I am NOT evil, its just you guys don't punish them, so I did, Watari, you remember how you use to punish me, I will NEVER do that to them!" I said.

Then my stomach growled, and Watari handed me my cake.

3 hours later…

"MELLO, ITS TIME FOR WORK!" I screamed up the stairs.

I heard him groan.

I laughed out loud and he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"MELLY, HURRY UP, YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE ON YOUR FIRST DAY!" I sang-screamed.

Mello came stomping down the stairs and pushed past me.

"Mello, don't be rude, you get paid!" I said.

"I don't care, I'm pissed off at BB for being stupid and making us go home early." He replied.

I sighed, eh they'll forget about it by….6 six days….

AT MELLO'S WORK….

(Mello's p.o.v)

I walked in and saw the same person I saw earlier.

"Great glad you could come. OK. So today your gonna be piercing someone's lip, I'll teach you how to do it."

Then she showed me the basics and I caught on pretty fast!

HEHEHE!

I like my job, I looked around and saw that everybody that was getting a tattoo and piercings were in PAIN!

Ohh yaaaa, thank you L.

So when the person came in she changed her mind and wanted her eyebrow pierced.

So I cleaned her eyebrow off with rubbing alcohol and she chose her ring blah blah blah, and I put it in the gun and shot it through her skin.

I yelped in pain and a tear fell from her eye.

I turned around and giggled then turned back around and cleaned up around her eyebrow.

"Can I get my septum pierced please." She asked.

(AN/ for you that don't know what that is its that thing that ummm its hard to explain but google pics of septum pi ercings. Srry I couldn't go into detail)

"Sure, but it'll be much more money." I replied.

She nodded and I proceeded to clean and pierce her septum.

It charged her $85 and I got an extra 15 for a tip!

Easy money.

"OK, great, your off at 11:00, and in a couple of days we'll see if you can draw, that'll tell us if we could put you as a tattoo artist. By the way, my names Hunter, I know, stupid ass name, but whatever." Hunter said walking away.

COOL!

Then more people came in asking for piercings and I had the time of my LIFE.

11:00…..

I was walking out to L's car with a frown.

"Whats the matter?" L asked while we drove away.

" I had fun and I didn't wanna leave." I replied.

L just laughed and I took out a wad of cash and started counting.

AT THE WHAMMYS….

(L's p.o.v)

I walked up to BB's room and looked in.

He was on the floor with his laptop on his lap and I walked behind him and saw he was watching music videos.

I stayed and watched up until he typed in 'porno'.

My eyes winded and I grabbed the computer from him.

He screamed.

Probably cuz I startled him.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT PORN FOR, YOUR 11!" i screamed.

" I didn't type in 'porno', why don't you look again." He said.

I looked and blushed when I saw 'porko'

What the hell is 'porko'.

"Ummm, porko?" I asked.

"Its where you can watch people eat meats until they barf, of pass out, its quite funny actually. BECAUSE after they cut open the people and see whats left, sometimes people don't chew, they just swallow!"

"BB, we really need to have a talk." I said.

AN/ MADE UP THING! ANYWHOOOOOOOOO I WOULD LIKE TO THANK Escaping Dreams for the reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

(BB's p.o.v)

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHDY BLAH BLAH BLAH!1

I don't think L knows that I'm not listening.

I can watch porn if I want!

Well, I just have to be more careful, 'cuz I typed in porko by mistake.

Oops!

Humph, well it doesn't matter anymore 'cuz I'm grounded and I don't have my laptop!

I freakin' hate L!

I do NOT wanna be that faggot toy someday!

All the other kids in the orphanage were killed.

We found out who it was, Jacob Black and Edward Cullen!

With their minions!

It was BLOODY AND HEEEELLLLLL!

I enjoyed it.

But we didn't die, we meaning Matt, Mello, Near, me, L, Watari, and Roger(dammit).

Anyway, I was just informed that everybody was going to the market, so I had 6 hours alone.

Yeah, I know it's a long time, but I'm a growing guy, all I do is eat and sleep.

I still have time to have a 1 man party!

YES!

"BB, WE'RE GOING, DON'T BE A JACK-ASS AND RUIN THE HOUSE!" Roger screamed up the stairs.

I screamed as a reply.

"WHATEVER THAT MEANS, BYE-BYE!" he yelled back.

Man,'bye-bye', pfft such a pansy!

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

THEY'RE GONE!

PARTY!

So I ran down stairs to the kitchen, grabbed the whipped cream, chocolate syrup, sprinkles and frosting!

I sprayed everything everywhere and the house was a mess.

But I didn't care, I was in my zone!

So I booked it to Matt's room and got his boom-box.

And grabbed my Ipod.

Ran back down stairs.

And I blasted Sexy Bitch by Akon.

I ended up in only my boxers and was swinging on a rope I tied to the railing of the stairs.

I swung onto the coffee table and started swinging my shirt around and dancing to Love Game by Lady Gaga.

Then I started singing along.

'LETS PLAY A LOVE GAME play a love game DO YOU WANT LOVE OR YOU WANT FAME

ARE YOU IN THE GAME

DANS LE LOVE GAME!

I'M ON A MISSION, AND IT IN-'

I was interrupted by the front door swinging open and I spun around and slipped off the whip cream infested tabled and landed on my ass in which landed on the stool I had set up to activate for the rope to swing at me.

Instinct took over and I grabbed it and I started flailing around and everything was silent until Matt started pounding his chest making noises that you only hear in Tarzan.

L walked under me and looked up.

He stared for a second and then his eyes widened and he backed away.

SNAP!

The rope snapped and I plummeted to the ground.

"!" I screamed out.

L walked over to me and told me to hold out my feet.

So I did and he felt around and sighed.

"You sprained you ankle, broke your left big toe and cut your foot, I'm just curious how it all happened on your left, when you originally landed on your right, and I have no clue how you CUT your foot." He said.

Silence..

Silence….

Silence…..

Even more silence…..

ENOUGH WITH THE SILENCE…..

" I had fun at work today." Mello said with a small smile, raising his hand.

"The sprain is minor, I don't even think it should be labeled as a sprain, more of a twist." Watari said as he felt around.

"Let me see."Roger said as he punched my foot.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH WTF!" I screamed.

"ROGER!" Watari screamed and smacked his hands.

"You aren't getting any tonight." Watari said.

"B-b-bu-but Warrrrryyyyyy, you promised!" Roger said in a baby voice.

Then the two walked away.

I stood up and tried to walk.

I did ok with it, just a minuscule limp.

"Is there any pain, Back-up?" Near asked.

I nodded.

"Want any of my Morphine?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, are you alr- MORPHINE! MATT WHY DO YOU HAVE MORPHINE!"

" I uh- just- umm-err LETS FOCUS ON BACK-UP RIGHT NOW!" he replied.

Silence…

Very eerie silence….

"Awkward silence…" I mumbled.

"L why are there markets open at this late of night?" Near asked.

"I have no idea." L replied.

"BED TIME!" Mello screamed running up the stairs.

Near and Matt following.

I was gonna follow but L grabbed in the back of my boxers and said: "You, Back-up are going in the shower, but I'm going in the bathroom with you. Your SPRAIN is not a twist, it's a sprain and they always hurt at first go away then come back twice as hard later."

I sighed.

At least I don't have to clean up.

And its good to know that someone cares.

Then L swung me over his shoulder and walked up stairs.

" Oh and I'm taking away your Ipod and whatever source of freedom you had."

I grunted.

(AN: BB won't always be crazy, I forgot to add that he was drinking before the whole 'porno' and 'porko' thing)

"And I know you were drinking."

I sighed.

Oh well, back to my lunatic self.

AFTER THE SHOWER…

I was in bed plotting revenge.

I still hate L and I will get him back.

I got up and set my alarm for 8:00.

Usually I sleep till 9 or 10, but this way I'll have time to get revenge.

(L doesn't wake up till 8:45)

AT 8:00 A.M…..

BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-

I slammed my fist on the button.

I jumped up and fell to the ground because I felt a knife pain run up my ankle.

So I walked flat footed on my right and on my toes with my left, should work.

I grabbed my knife and walked down to L's room.

I entered and limped to the side of his bed, raised the knife and….

"BB WHAT THE FUCK!" L screamed.

I jumped back fell on my ass and scrambled away.

But L closed the door before I could get out and he went behind me.

I was frozen with fear and then he opened the door again only I was to scared to move and he kick me ass out.

Literally, kicked my ass out!

I skidded and rammed my face into the wall.

Ugh!

More injuries.

(AN: ANOTHER THANKS TO Escaping Dreams for the ideas and in the next chap will be Matt's job and drum roll please

RONALD MCDONALD!)


	5. Chapter 5

(BB's p.o.v)

I walked down the stairs to the kitchen and saw Watari and Roger eating with Matt, Mello, and Near.

"BB, there's something on your lip." Roger said.

I licked my lips and tasted blood.

Man, I'd never forget the taste.

L came stomping down the stairs and threw his body on the chair and stabbed his fork into his waffles.

"L, is something wrong?" Watari asked.

"BB TRIED TO STAB ME!" he screamed and ate his waffles.

Everybody's eyes widened and Roger slammed his fist on the table and screamed my name.

"I had to get revenge! He was pissing me off!" I yelled in defense.

"NO EXCUSE!" Watari screamed.

"YES IT IS!" Matt screamed.

"SHUT UP, MATT!" Roger screamed.

"Yes, Roger." Matt replied hanging his head.

11:45….

"MATT, TIME FOR WORK!" L sang.

"Shut up, L, no one like you." Matt grumbled walking down the stairs in a Ronald Mcdonald uniform.

"AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING MATT!" I screamed

"Why are you scared?" Mello taunted.

"The only thing that scares me more than zombies are, CLOWNS, AHHHHH CLOWN APOCALYPSE!"I screamed hiding under the table.

"Looks like something Matt would wear on a daily basis." Near said, twirling a lock of hair.

"NEAR IS A QUEER!" I yelled.

Near looked down and a tear fell from his eyes.

"Stop it, don't say that, I HATE those words." Near said pounding his fist on the table

"MATT GET IN THE CAR!" L screamed and honked the horn.

AT MATT'S JOB….

(Matt's p.o.v)

"RONALD COME PLAY WITH US!" chorused around the room and it erupted with laughter.

"Ronald, you're my best friend, wanna have a sleep over in my closet." Said a blonde girl that looked around 14.

Great…thanks L, now I'm pissed.

Then she grabbed my REAL hair and pulled me to the bathroom.

"No, i- leave me alo- sto-le- go-of me- GAH!" I WAS FREED!

"RONALD, I GOT A BOO-BOO! KISS IT AND MAKE IT BETTER! WAHHHHHHHHH WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" some little girl said.

"What the hell do you want me to do about it!" I replied.

I gulped.

Wrong move…..

"HEY YOUR NOT RONALD MCDONALD, GET HIMMMMMMMMMMMM!" a little boy said pointing at me.

" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they all charged at me.

I screamed.

They started stabbing me with forks and biting me and one kid kicked me where the sun doesn't shine!

"RONALD MCDONALD!" the boss screamed "YOUR FIRED!"

20 minutes later ~

"Ohhh I can't wait to yell at you." L said as I walked in.

AT HOME ~

"BUT LOOK WHAT THE BASTARD KID DID TO ME!" I screamed.

I pointed to my erm, you no what.

"it looks like I pissed myself, I don't even thing everything is in order anymore."

"GO UPSTAIRS!" L screamed.

(L's p.o.v)

"NEAR SHUT UP, YOU TO MELLO! GOD WHAT THE HELL!" BB.

"NO BB, YOU PSHYCO PATH, WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP!" Mello.

"DUDE I'M GONNA KNEE YOU SO HARD, KIDS WON'T BE AN OPTION." BB. Again.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU SO HARD." Mello. Again.

"That made no sense." Near, for the first time.

That was all I hear from the back-yard.

I HATE MY LIFE!

Soooooooo how'd you like it?


End file.
